Should You Keep your Weight Loss Plan a Secret?
Most people who decide to make a lifestyle change will tell at least a few others about their intentions. All of a sudden you’re buying more fruits, vegetables and whole grains, and you’ve dusted off those gym shoes to go for a walk a few times a week. Something is up, but how many people do you tell? Do you tell anyone at all, or just let them figure it out for themselves? New research shows that sharing your goals could negatively affect your behavior and success.
Researchers at New York University explored the idea of an “identity goal”. “In the case of weight loss, that goal is to be a successful dieter. To reach an identity goal, you need indicators of your accomplishments. For a dieter it could be pounds dropped or praise from friends/family when they see how great you look. Studies found that when you tell people what you intend to do, and that intention is acknowledged, the recognition qualifies as an indicator of accomplishment.” The theory is that the sense of accomplishment makes you feel like you’ve already reached a goal. This feeling then gives you less incentive to follow through with it. Do you agree?
Researchers suggest creating an action plan to help you stick to the goal. Instead of just saying “I want to lose 20 pounds”, develop steps along the way. That way the sense of accomplishment isn’t complete until you’ve “lost 5 pounds by January 15th, 10 pounds by February 20th and 20 pounds by April 30th.”
Other researchers suggest that because human beings naturally have a problem with change, those around you will try to sabotage your efforts (consciously or not) by changing you back to what you once were. One successful dieter said that she received comments such as “I liked you better as the fat friend,” from people she expected to be supportive of her goals. Because of these reasons, some experts suggest keeping your weight loss goals a secret, or if necessary, only telling a few people.
I think everyone needs to do what works best for them, but I’m skeptical that keeping your goals a secret from everyone is beneficial for most people. If you know that your family and friends won’t support your goals, reach out to others- like your friends at SparkPeople! It helps to share the ups and downs of a healthy lifestyle journey, especially if it’s with others who are going through the same thing. Surround yourself with those who want to see you be happy and successful.
Do you keep your weight loss goals a secret from certain people in your life? Do you find that telling others helps or hurts your progress?
Researchers at New York University explored the idea of an “identity goal”. “In the case of weight loss, that goal is to be a successful dieter. To reach an identity goal, you need indicators of your accomplishments. For a dieter it could be pounds dropped or praise from friends/family when they see how great you look. Studies found that when you tell people what you intend to do, and that intention is acknowledged, the recognition qualifies as an indicator of accomplishment.” The theory is that the sense of accomplishment makes you feel like you’ve already reached a goal. This feeling then gives you less incentive to follow through with it. Do you agree?
Researchers suggest creating an action plan to help you stick to the goal. Instead of just saying “I want to lose 20 pounds”, develop steps along the way. That way the sense of accomplishment isn’t complete until you’ve “lost 5 pounds by January 15th, 10 pounds by February 20th and 20 pounds by April 30th.”
Other researchers suggest that because human beings naturally have a problem with change, those around you will try to sabotage your efforts (consciously or not) by changing you back to what you once were. One successful dieter said that she received comments such as “I liked you better as the fat friend,” from people she expected to be supportive of her goals. Because of these reasons, some experts suggest keeping your weight loss goals a secret, or if necessary, only telling a few people.
I think everyone needs to do what works best for them, but I’m skeptical that keeping your goals a secret from everyone is beneficial for most people. If you know that your family and friends won’t support your goals, reach out to others- like your friends at SparkPeople! It helps to share the ups and downs of a healthy lifestyle journey, especially if it’s with others who are going through the same thing. Surround yourself with those who want to see you be happy and successful.
Do you keep your weight loss goals a secret from certain people in your life? Do you find that telling others helps or hurts your progress?
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Comments
- 5/10/2013 7:41:29 AM
I do understand the need for a time frame within which to reach a goal. In fact, I wanted to take a trip that involved a LOT of preparation, planning, convincing (Himself - my travel partner). I had a deadline of spring 2011 and I told all my colleagues in the fall of 2010 because I was excited about it and, of course, I had to claim the vacation time. As the WORK involved with planning began to feel like it was all too much, I really considered quitting - not planning - but the fact that I'd "bragged" ahead of time, shamed me into doing the work - and oh my, it was the best trip Himself and I have ever taken. That's one for sharing your goals.
But yesterday I heard, for the first time, "Don't lose any more weight" from a friend and I started to explain about my goal and then had an overwhelming urge to just keep it to myself. She won't really know if I lose that last 5 lbs or not ... we don't need to talk about it.
Very interesting. - 5/10/2013 6:20:13 AM
On one hand, I feel that if I'm only accountable to myself, I'll never get anything done. My history proves I'm right about this one.
On the other hand, I've also proven that telling people doesn't really get me anywhere either. In fact, the perpetual cycle of "I'm doing this" only to quit, has left me in a "crying wolf" stage, where no one really believes me anymore.
However, I wholeheartedly believe that the people you tell are extremely important. When I have someone who keeps heckling me, I'm more likely to keep going. If I just have someone passively reminding me once in a while, well... that doesn't usually work.
I think the key lies in WHO you tell, not how many or how often; how helpful that friend will be, and whether or not they will challenge you. - 5/9/2013 11:20:07 AM
How many times have we promised others (or even ourselves) we would do something, but then not?
I think it is the quiet small decisions in the right direction that make the bigger difference. Just keep doing the right things, and people will notice. - 5/9/2013 10:33:36 AM
Recently, however, I did find a real, live buddy to help me on this journey. I've had buddies before but the relationship was never quite right. Those experiences have helped me learn how to make the buddy relationship productive and helpful AND successful. So far, so good!! It's been almost a month and we are BOTH losing weight steadily!!
So, take what you like and leave the rest. Do what is best for YOU and your plan! - 5/9/2013 10:28:34 AM
Becca - 9/11/2012 3:08:57 PM
Those around me that don't have a weight problem are quick to judge what is on my plate. And there are those that say, Oh take just one bite, it won't hurt, or keep bringing small pieces of chocolate or recipes etc..
I do discuss what exercise I am in though, bring it up that I am now running, or talking about a spinning class. I find I am often one of the most active person in a group. The unnecessary advice doesn't come and those who are also active share their stories and the places where they run and I feel more part of that community than the weight loss one.
That is why SP and other websites work better for me than joining a group and getting weighed every week. I am accountable to me, I know what sort of week I had, no matter what the scale shows. - 2/26/2012 4:56:03 PM
It hurt my feelings at first because my self esteem was poor and i was alone, I needed support, just to be treated with everything from anger to mockery. It was the worst experience but yet the most beneficial. My two greatest and only supporters were my sister and a good friend (this was before I met my husband). And I told them much later into my weight loss, only because of the scrutiny I received in the beginning.
- 12/31/2011 11:33:15 AM
I do like having a weight-loss community, separate from my "real life," to share things with. I think that makes it easier. And I do occasionally post on FB when I've had a particularly satisfying victory, usually garnering a flurry of "likes" and then people just seem to forget about it, which is fine with me.
Especially if they forget how I used to look along with it! ;) - 12/30/2011 3:27:18 PM
I think it depends on your personality and the personalities around you as to whether you can share a lot or a little. But, ultimately, it comes down to me. - 12/30/2011 10:29:14 AM
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