I always thought when I lost all my weight somehow my life would be perfect. I would finally be able to accept myself for who I was. I would no longer find fault with myself. I would be able to go into any store and buy anything I wanted right off the rack and my life would be just dandy. But for some reason that hasn’t been the case. However, I am slowly beginning to accept where I am and no longer will I allow my weight or age to define who I AM TODAY!

I don’t know if this has to do with just me or just being a woman. A few weeks ago I overheard a conversation between four women in the locker room--here were four women 15-20 years younger than I am and all they did for 45 minutes was complain about their weight, the size of their thighs, the roundness of their bellies, etc, etc. I must say I was becoming a tad paranoid thinking, “Gee I wonder what they are thinking about me, if that is what they are thinking about themselves?”

The older I get, the less I care about what others think, but it did make me feel like I should not have been so satisfied having just completed an hour run on the treadmill followed by a good 30 minutes of strength training. I felt like I should try to find something wrong with myself just to fit in. I didn’t, but t it did sadden me that these women had nothing more positive to say about themselves. The negativity just kept going on and on.

I am not saying I don’t care what I look like. In fact, I do. Having just celebrated my 47th birthday a few months ago, if finally struck me that I am closer to the big 5-0 than I am to 40! Looking back at photos of when my Grandmothers were 50, well to me THEY were OLD and they LOOKED OLD, too. But I don’t feel old, in fact I feel younger today than I did 5 years ago.

Yes, I still color my hair (I am not ready to go grey just yet), and I have invested in some really good anti-aging serums, but now when I look into the mirror I see so much more than my physical being--I see the person who has gained wisdom and insight over the years. And the older I get the more confident I become in my own skin. While being young and carefree was fun 25 years ago, I am really beginning to embrace where I am right now in my life. This didn’t happen overnight, but over a period of many months and years and it continues to evolve over time.

That being said, I am more thrilled at beating a PR in a race than I am about buying a new outfit or trinket. I find it more fulfilling when I can run faster then a man half my age then having the nicest car in the lot. I am beginning to appreciate friends who I haven’t seen in years over being able to show off my new things.

So tell me, is this something we have created within ourselves or does the media play some role in shaping our views on how we perceive ourselves? Just pick up any women’s magazine these days and all across the covers scream, “Twenty Days to a Sexier You” or “Lose Your Belly in 8 Days” or “Look 10 Years Younger without Surgery!” Even Oprah devoted her January issue of O Magazine to her struggle with her weight.

However, when I read her story, WOW, could I ever relate! She revealed her vulnerability to her readers. While she may be a very rich woman, money can’t buy health or even the perceived perfect weight. When she stated that she has spent a lifetime plagued by weight issues, I realized she and I had something in common and that was learning to accept ourselves right now--that health is not a number on the scale or the size on a tag—it is about being to embrace an active lifestyle and finally saying I AM FINE RIGHT WHERE I AM.

With the New Year just behind us, how many of you are willing to take a pledge to embrace who you are today and who you will be in the weeks, months, and years ahead, no matter what the scale reads or what size you wear? Will you accept yourself today and embrace tomorrow?